Building confidence and self-esteem: having a “right relationship” with yourself

Building self confidence and self esteem are key foundations for personal power. Improving self confidence and self esteem comes from working constantly on establishing and then maintaining a “right relationship” with yourself. Every choice and decision we make, every word we speak, the thoughts we think, the actions we take all reflect the state of our relationship with ourselves. They reflect whether or not our self esteem and confidence is strong or weak. Whether or not we are living from a place of personal power or disempowerment.

What state is your relationship with yourself in? Could it do with some tweaking or maybe a major overhaul?

How to build self confidence and self esteem?

Building confidence and self esteem is a process.

This process for building self-confidence and self-esteem has four essential ingredients:

  • building awareness
  • increasing understanding
  • a willingness to make the necessary changes and
  • actively creating the best and necessary conditions for the changes you desire.


The first step is to examine and assess your relationship with yourself. There are three key areas. Take the time to reflect and write in a journal about each of these areas as they may apply to you.

How you relate to yourself . This includes your self concept, self esteem and how you think about yourself. How strong or weak is your self confidence in who you are and how you manage all the areas of your life? What are you here for – your role, purpose and identity? Are you here to keep everyone else happy or to live your own life and seek happiness and fulfilment for yourself? Are you your own best friend, supporter and encourager or are you your own worst enemy? Do you trust yourself? Love yourself? Accept yourself?


How you treat yourself . Do you treat yourself with understanding, compassion and kindness or harsh criticism, judgement and rejection? How well do you take care of your physical health and well being? How well do you take care of your needs, desires, opportunities, emotional life and mental life? Do you go for your dreams or hold back?


How well you know and understand yourself. The most critical and essential area to understand is your belief systems because as you have no doubt heard already, beliefs are the computer programs that run the whole show. What are all the beliefs you carry around? Many of our beliefs have become unconscious, running on automatic. You also need to become aware of and understand what is important to you (your values), what you need, and what fears have power over you. It’s about understanding what makes you tick, what pushes your buttons, and why.

Improving self-confidence and strengthening self-esteem is a natural consequence of gradually working on making your relationship “right” with yourself. Step up and take charge of your “programming”! You are the programmer! No matter what has happened in the past, you have total control over the kind of relationship you have with yourself now. And yes, you can have total control over building confidence and self-esteem to where you would love it to be!

Arnab Ghosh

My name is Arnab Ghosh. I have been working as a Corporate professional for the past 19 years. After completing my graduation from City College {University of Calcutta}, I started my career with R.S.Software India, followed by Vedika Software Pvt.Ltd. Have worked with industry giants such as Convergys, Satyam Nipuna Services, Wipro BPO, Tata Teleservices Limited, Aircel, TaxiForSure, Brainware University among others. I am a certified trainer from Aircel Academy – Manager As a Coach & Trainer. I have also completed certifications from TBO Academy & Alison Education in the field of “Soft Skills“, the knowledge of which I apply to my students at my University regularly. I have also successfully completed “The Fundamentals of Digital Marketing” certification from Google and “Digital Marketing Course” from TBO Academy. I was awarded “Google Analytics for Beginners” certificate by Google after successfully completing their course. I have achieved CEFR level B2 (Upper Intermediate) in a test of English proficiency from the British Council English Score. I am a bundle of drive, energy, commitment, and dedication and firmly believe in living my life in my own terms, be it working my heart out to achieve business targets or enjoying my spare time doing things that give me joy and feelings of contentment. My hobbies include reading books & listening to music and blogging. I sincerely believe that one should never lose focus in life and that one has to put in a lot of hard work & effort to reach the top.

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