How to build self-confidence is a simple process and quite easy once you understand the process and dynamics.
Why is it that a particularly bad hair day, or carrying a few extra pounds, or turning up to a social event in “the wrong outfit”( like being the only person erroneously wearing a wild fancy dress outfit!) can wilt self confidence and have us seeking out the nearest hiding place?
How come one comment from decades ago can still cause us to doubt ourselves, to feel we are stupid, selfish, or unworthy of good things.
What is going on when we have a panic attack about standing in front of a group to speak or are terrified to attend a social event alone .
In one word it is all about judgement.
If you want to learn how to build self confidence one critical area to address is how to become immune to judgement from others and how to stop judging ourselves.
There are two key areas that erode or prevent self confidence:
- Judging yourself
- Fear of others judging you.
Non-judgment is the opposite of judgment. We need to learn to stop judging ourselves, stop judging others, and take back the power we give to others to judge us and have it affect us.
Perhaps our greatest and deepest need is to feel loved. In close companionship with love, is acceptance. This is one of our greatest needs. We tend to make acceptance a pre-requisite for love. If we judge ourselves to be unacceptable, we also tend to judge ourselves to be unlovable or unworthy of love. Most of us find it difficult to love someone we do not accept.
In addition to not judging ourselves, we also must accept ourselves. Who we are, as we are. The most powerful pathway to becoming immune to the negative judgments of other people and a critical component in any program focused on how to build self-confidence is to fully and unconditionally accept ourselves.
