“Tell me about yourself” interview question

This question seems to strike fear into the hearts of many candidates – and yet, ironically, the motivation for asking it is to relax people at the beginning of the interview! It also allows you to get off to a good start and to highlight some key, interesting facts about yourself – so make the most of the opportunity.

What is interesting about you?

Make a list of your key achievements, your main areas of work and your particular skills and training. You can also include some non-work related facts. For example if you do work for charity or run a local football team, these involve skills that are of interest to a future employer.

Do remember how many times the interviewer will have asked this question and so try to pick some things which are memorable and perhaps a bit different from what everyone will say.

Structure your answer

This type of answer really needs some structure otherwise you can end up just burbling away and then running out of things to say.

Introduction

This is like the top line of your CV. It’s a thumbnail sketch of who you are, what you do and what kind of roles you are looking for. It will probably be just a few sentences.

Three main points

Look at your list and select three things to structure your answer around. Three is a memorable number – it helps the listener to follow what you are saying and also allows you to keep on track.

For each point;

Explain what the skill or area of work is.

“I was responsible for creating a new software database for my department.”

Emphasise what you did, what was involved and how you did it.

“I had to do a lot of research to discover what was needed and I had to make sure that everyone bought in to it and was able to use it.”

Add what you learnt and what you gained from it.

“I learnt that some people can be resistant to change, but that once I had explained the benefits fully, and really listened to their input, then they accepted it. Now they say they can’t imagine how they managed all those years without it. It really gave me the confidence to initiate and lead projects.”

Try to end with the most powerful and interesting point as this will stay in the interviewer’s memory.

Conclusion

It is very important to finish cleanly and on a strong note. So sum up and then end by re-stating what kind of role you are now looking for (being sure that it fits appropriately with the current interview).

Practice

Practice this answer out loud a few times so you get a sense that it flows well and makes sense. Don’t learn it off by heart – as it is then difficult to make it seem spontaneous. But do become familiar with the material, and adapt it as necessary depending on the job you are applying for.

How to overcome interview nerves?

Everyone gets nervous at a job interview. If you didn’t get nervous, it would mean you didn’t care. The problem is that sometimes the nerves can affect your performance so you may appear lacking in energy or unenthusiastic or just plain terrified! So here are some crucial techniques to help you control your nerves.

Practice

This is something which many people neglect to do – and yet it makes a huge difference. Either get someone to ask you some specimen questions or ask yourself the question and then practice speaking the answers. A lot of nervous energy comes from fear of the unknown or fear that we are going to freeze or look stupid. So by practising answers aloud, it will start to feel more familiar and your confidence will grow.

Relaxation and Breathing

It is important to be as physically relaxed as possible before an interview as, not only will this help you to feel more confident, it will also project confidence to the interviewer.

So take a few minutes, either at home before you leave or find somewhere quiet at the interview venue. Roll your shoulders a few times, forwards and backwards, shake the tension out of your arms and hands, look in a mirror and smile to remind yourself to do it later!

Breathe in deeply through your nose to a count of four and then out through your mouth to a count of five. Make sure you are still physically relaxed. Try placing your hand on your stomach and think of breathing deeply (rather than shallow breathing in your chest).

Visualisation

Ask yourself this question: “How do I make myself nervous?” Now think about the answer. No one is making you nervous – you are doing that yourself. So how do you do it? Perhaps you imagine yourself going blank in the interview? Or going red and stammering? Our ability to make ourselves feel emotions by using our imagination is highly developed. It’s just a shame that so many of us imagine the worst case scenario! The result is it makes us really nervous, which then means we perform badly and end up fulfilling that worst case scenario. In order to break this cycle, imagine yourself in the interview with it all going really well. You are calm, relaxed and friendly. You are answering all the questions easily and in a structured way. You are feeling confident and in control. It helps to reinforce the scenario if you use all your senses. So imagine what it will look like, what it will sound like and what it will feel like.

You’re the solution to their problem

Someone conducting an interview has a problem. They have an empty role in their organisation – and you could be the solution to that problem. As you walk through the door rather than focusing on being judged, imagine that you are there to help them. Changing the way you think about the interview can have a huge impact on your confidence.

How to deal with competency based interviews?

Increasingly, interviews are based on competencies. These are particular skills and qualities they are looking for in a candidate. Some examples of competencies are:

Leadership
Team working
Communication skills
Conflict management
Delegation
Influencing
Risk taking
Integrity

Preparation

Check on the competencies required in the job description or the application form. Then think about examples from your work when you have demonstrated them. It is important when talking about competencies to always give examples. Usually they will ask for this: “Tell me about a time when you had to use your communication skills to influence someone.”

Make notes in bullet form so that you can review them before the interview. If possible have two examples of each one because sometimes they ask you for another example.

Don’t worry about stating the obvious. What may seem obvious to you, still needs saying. For example you may believe that you are acting with integrity all the time but you still need to come up with a specific example. If you don’t say it, then they can’t give you credit for it. You could say something like: “My aim is to act with integrity at all times but I suppose a particular example where that became important was…”

Delivery

When answering this type of competency question try using the following ‘STAR’ structure to give coherence to you answers.

S for Situation: What was the situation you found yourself in? Set the scene with a couple of sentences. Don’t go into too much detail at this point – save that for later.

T for Task: What was it you had to do? What was the project?

A for Action: This part is crucial. What did you do? How did you influence the outcome? What effective behaviours did you display?

R for Result : People often forget this part. So make sure you end by clearly stating what happened as a result of your actions.

Using this structure will give your answers clarity and direction and will help you to speak to the point and to know that you’ve given the right amount of information.

Practice

Practice using the STAR technique, but don’t learn answers off by heart as this can sound over-prepared and inauthentic. Instead become familiar with discussing the examples so that when it is required you are able to speak fluently and precisely.

How to sell yourself in a job interview?

Many people find this challenging because they worry they will sound like they’re showing off. It can help to think about it in a different way. You’re not showing off, you’re just explaining directly and positively, why you are right for the job.

Make a list of all your strengths and all your positive qualities and why you would be great for this role. Ask your colleagues and friends as well – sometimes other people can see these things better. Take some time to remind yourself of all your skills and experience, so that when asked, you will appear enthusiastic and committed.

‘I’ not ‘we’

When talking about successful projects or achievements make sure you give yourself full credit. It’s easy to get into the habit of talking as a team because that is often important in a work context. For example: “We achieved the targets.” However in an interview start getting used to emphasising what you did personally. For example: “I made sure that everyone understood what was required by meeting with them individually and as a result I achieved my target – along with the rest of the team.”

Voice

If you voice is monotone or very quiet then you will sound unenthusiastic and they will be less likely to believe you. Practice making your voice more engaging by really focusing on the interviewers and deliberately making what you say as interesting as possible. It can help to record your practice answers and listen to them. Try emphasising key words and slowing down your delivery as this makes the voice easier to listen to.

Body Language

Body language is also an important element when trying to come across with confidence and enthusiasm. Avoid slumping in your chair or fidgeting nervously. Before the interview, practice how you will sit. Relax your shoulders, sit up and make direct eye contact – and remember to smile as this will make you look confident and friendly. Use your hands to gesture, just as you would if you were talking to someone in a normal situation.

Selling yourself

“Why should we give you this job?”

“What’s special about you?”

“What makes you think you’re right for this role?”

These are typical interview questions, so have answers ready, based on the list of strengths and your experience.

Remember, you’ve done really well to get this interview. Now you need to make sure they understand just how right you are for the job. They are not mind readers… You have to tell them while demonstrating confidence, enthusiasm and commitment.

How Is Communication In Business Achieved?

Communication in Business involves communicating business information both inside and outside the organization. Internal communication in business includes the corporate vision and strategy, goals, plans, corporate culture of the organization, motivation and things that make a business organization successful in house. External communication in business involves marketing, advertising, customer relations, business negotiations and things dealing out of the business immediate environment.

There are studies done in relation to communication in business showing that nothing is better than the good old face-to-face communication between the workforce and the management. It was found out during a European study that those businesses with managers that used intranet , emails and video- conferences ended up with issues unresolved or not handled properly between the workforce and management because it was not done in person.

The use of intranet, email, faxes and voice mail is good to transport messages containing general data. Any kind of factual data that is not associated with emotions is fine to be relayed this way. But communication in business involving emotions is better done in the flesh. Things like expressing different opinions are far better done in person than with the use of electronic correspondence. Body language, vocal tone and expression cannot be accurately transferred for an important emotional transmission of information with an electronic device. The person must actually feel the emotional impact of the communication for better or worse. Electronic intermediaries cannot replace emotional communication in business. This goes for enthusiasm for goals as well as firing someone.

There have been studies done analyzing the dynamics of what makes a sales person successful in his endeavors. A good salesman is one who can talk to customers in terms they can understand. A successful communication in business should be done in terms of speaking in a language that is understandable to those you are communicating with. To make a dynamic presentation don’t tell everything you know. Talk about only what the people you are speaking to need to know about. This means do your homework also. Sort out all the data you have and only present that information which is pertinent to your business communication. This helps those you speak to take more productive action based on what you say to them. Make the information relevant to the audience. This gives them a connection to what you are talking about.

It’s also good to be able to listen as well. You need to listen to in house and out house communications in business. Make time to listen to what in house staffers have to say. This helps unify the business organization as a two way street where everyone is on the same team. The same is true for the consumers. Listen to what they have to say as well. It can help with business execution of products that the business or organization produces for consumer consumption. Poor communication in business results in misunderstanding and mistrust on both sides of the business fence. This can extend to both within and on the outside a business.

A Look At Effective Business Communication

Communication skills are very important in business. You have to be able to effectively communicate ideas to insure a successful enterprise. When one runs a business one has to interact with other people on some level, even if you are a sole proprietor without a staff. That is why effective business communication is essential.

The first thing for effective business communication whether orally or written is to consider the objectives you are trying to communicate. The objectives have to be clear in your mind so you can execute them clearly. You want the people you are communicating with to receive the objective correctly so they will be in agreement with what you are trying to accomplish. Remember for effective business communication you must have good language skills both orally and written. You must be able to articulate your points to achieve what you want.

Another good point in analyzing how effective business communication is executed is what kind of audience are you speaking to or writing for. When utilizing effective business communication skills it is very important that you have a positive attitude so you will be received positively. If one is negative and unmotivated then that is what he’s going to get back. With effective business communication what we give out is what we receive for the most part.

Another thing to consider when utilizing effective business communication is ones credibility. How believable are you and do you believe what you are saying. That makes a big difference in winning people over to your point of view. If you are honest in relaying information for both better and worse you are in a better position to have people on your side.

Try to use creative oral and written approaches. The easiest way to loose the ones you are trying to communicate with is to be boring, use jargon and be repetitious. No one not even you want to hear or read the same things over and over. You have to be innovative with your communication skills to be effective with a repetitive idea. Keep in mind boring is mind numbing not mind stimulating.

One of the best effective business communication skills to have is motivation. First you must be motivated by what you do and then you will be able to motivate others. If you have a service to offer make sure that those you are communicating to understand how much that service could benefit them as it is benefiting you. This is one of the best tools to use win over those you are communicating with.

Remember you are a human being just like the people you are communicating with. You must treat them with the same courtesy and respect that you would want to be treated with. To be effective in the business realm even as a one-person enterprise you must give to get. That is what communication is about. You are sending out information that you want others to receive to benefit both parties.

Resumes & Cover Letters for Aspiring Job Seekers

The Bottom Line

Recruiters spend as little as 30 seconds reviewing your resume for the first time
Your resume must be:
Concise
Results-oriented
Clearly presented
Marketing: content and packaging
Even with a stellar resume, you will still need to perform well on in interviews to land a job offer

Top 10 critical skills desired by employers

Critical Skill #1: Team Player

Work in teams
Academics
Extracurriculars
Employment
Willing to help others; share credit

Where you can display it
Resume

Critical Skill #2: Communication

Ability to clearly articulate complex thoughts
Writing is concise and logically organized
Activities that involve written/verbal comm.
Teaching
Journalism

Where you can display it
Cover letter and resume

Critical Skill #3: Interpersonal

Activities that involve interactions with others
Work w/ people from a range of backgrounds
Volunteer work
International experiences
Positive tone & tactful phrasing in cover letter

Where you can display it
Cover letter and resume

Critical Skill #4: Leadership

Elected leadership positions
Entrepreneurial initiative
Self-direction in ambiguous situations
Persuaded others to take action
Calculated risk-taking

Where you can display it
Resume

Critical Skill #5: Analytical

High GPA and/or rising trend in grades
Analytical coursework or summer jobs
Strong SAT or GMAT scores
Logical presentation of credentials

Where you can display it
Resume and cover letter
Academic transcript

Critical Skill #6: Quantitative

Excellent grades in quantitative subjects
Math, physics (engineering)
Accounting, finance, economics (business)
Experience involving quantitative analysis

Where you can display it
Resume
Academic Transcript

Critical Skill #7: Business Sense

Classes and extracurricular activities suggest a developing interest in business
Conveys knowledge of industry and firm
Exposure to major business and financial concepts through work experience

Where you can display it
Cover letter and resume

Critical Skill #8: Capacity for Continuous Development

Upward trend in grades in challenging classes
Humility; learning from mistakes
Intellectual curiosity
Advancement within a student organization

Where you can display it
Resume and cover letter
Academic transcript

Critical Skill #9: Motivation & Energy

Enthusiasm and bias for action
Heavy academic load
Juggled many activities on campus
Part-time job during the semester
Willing to work long hours

Where you can display it
Resume and cover letter
Academic transcript

Critical Skill #10: Integrity

Details on resume are consistent
No exaggeration of accomplishments
Following through on commitments
No unprofessional or rude statements made in cover letter

Where you can display it
Resume and cover letter

Resume Tips

  1. Use numbers where appropriate to describe your accomplishments
  2. Avoid vague qualitative terms: “large” “many”
  3. Present two or three strengths and back them up with experience & achievement
  4. Not necessary to be a jack-of-all-trades
  5. State your accomplishments objectively
  6. Avoid dramatic, self-congratulatory language

Resume Mistakes

  1. Objective statement at the top
  2. Job descriptions rather than results
  3. Weak verbs to describe accomplishments
  4. Listing experiences where you are unable to recall the details
  5. Political or religious viewpoints
  6. Any spelling or grammatical errors
  7. Consultants are notoriously detail-oriented

Cover Letters

  1. Introduce a resume
  2. Personalized explanation of interest in consulting and the particular firm
  3. More important when resume submitted directly, rather than on-campus recruiting
  4. Can the candidate write clearly & concisely?
  5. Convey professionalism & enthusiasm
  6. Address potential concerns of the recruiter

An effective consulting Cover Letter

  1. Position to which you are applying
  2. Primary reason for your interest in consulting and specific role at the firm
  3. Concise overview of 1 or 2 qualifications that make you a compelling candidate
  4. These could be accomplishments that are not explicitly included in your resume
  5. Availability (graduation date)
  6. Logical next steps
  7. Could be a brief telephone conversation

Cover Letter Mistakes

  1. Reiterating your entire resume in prose
  2. Resume and cover letter are complementary
  3. Sending an impersonal form letter
  4. Recruiter will interpret this as lack of interest
  5. Addressing your letter “Dear Sir or Madam” or “To Whom it May Concern”
  6. Find out the name of the recruiter and their title
  7. Excessive length
  8. Busy recruiter will end up skimming it

Resume Action Verbs and Power Words

The following is a list of resume action verbs and power words to use in your resumes and cover letters. Use these resume action verbs / resume power words to write a compelling resume.

  • Absorb
  • Accelerate
  • Access
  • Accomplish
  • Accrue
  • Acquire
  • Achieve
  • Act
  • Activate
  • Adapt
  • Address
  • Adjust
  • Administer
  • Advertise
  • Advise
  • Advocate
  • Affirm
  • Aid
  • Alert
  • Align
  • Allocate
  • Analyze
  • Apply
  • Appraise
  • Approve
  • Arbitrate
  • Arranged
  • Assemble
  • Assess
  • Assign
  • Assist
  • Attain
  • Authorize
  • Award
  • Begin
  • Brief
  • Bring
  • Broadcast
  • Budget
  • Build
  • Calculate
  • Campaign
  • Certify
  • Chaired
  • Change
  • Chart
  • Check
  • Choose
  • Clarify
  • Classify
  • Coach
  • Collaborate
  • Collate
  • Collect
  • Combine
  • Communicate
  • Compare
  • Compile
  • Complete
  • Comply
  • Compose
  • Compute
  • Conceptualize
  • Conclude
  • Condense
  • Conduct
  • Confer
  • Configure
  • Connect
  • Conserve
  • Consolidate
  • Construct
  • Consult
  • Contact
  • Continue
  • Contribute
  • Control
  • Convert
  • Convey
  • Convince
  • Coordinate
  • Correspond
  • Counsel
  • Critique
  • Cultivate
  • Customize
  • Decide
  • Declare
  • Decline
  • Decorate
  • Dedicate
  • Define
  • Delegate
  • Deliver
  • Demonstrate
  • Depreciate
  • Describe
  • Design
  • Determine
  • Develop
  • Devise
  • Diagnose
  • Direct
  • Dispatch
  • Dispense
  • Distribute
  • Document
  • Draft
  • Edit
  • Educate
  • Emphasize
  • Encourage
  • Enforce
  • Engineer
  • Enhance
  • Ensure
  • Establish
  • Estimate
  • Evaluate
  • Examine
  • Execute
  • Expand
  • Expedite
  • Explain
  • Fabricate
  • Facilitate
  • Finance
  • Focus
  • Forecast
  • Formulate
  • Foster
  • Fund
  • Furnish
  • Gain
  • Generate
  • Graduate
  • Greet
  • Guide
  • Handle
  • Help
  • Hire
  • Host
  • Identify
  • Illustrate
  • Implement
  • Improve
  • Improvise
  • Increase
  • Index
  • Influence
  • Inform
  • Initiate
  • Innovate
  • Inspire
  • Install
  • Institute
  • Integrate
  • Interact
  • Interview
  • Introduce
  • Investigate
  • Itemize
  • Join
  • Justify
  • Launch
  • Learn
  • Lecture
  • Led
  • Lessen
  • Lift
  • Link
  • Listen
  • Maintain
  • Manage
  • Manipulate
  • Map
  • Market
  • Measure
  • Mediate
  • Merge
  • Mobilize
  • Modify
  • Monitor
  • Motivate
  • Negotiate
  • Observe
  • Obtain
  • Open
  • Operate
  • Order
  • Organize
  • Originate
  • Outpace
  • Outperform
  • Participate
  • Perform
  • Persuade
  • Plan
  • Prepare
  • Present
  • Prevent
  • Printed
  • Prioritize
  • Process
  • Produce
  • Program
  • Promote
  • Propose
  • Prospect
  • Prove
  • Provide
  • Publicize
  • Purchase
  • Pursue
  • Qualify
  • Run
  • Rate
  • Reach
  • Receive
  • Recommend
  • Reconcile
  • Record
  • Recruit
  • Reduce
  • Refer
  • Refocus
  • Regulate
  • Reorganize
  • Repair
  • Replace
  • Report
  • Represent
  • Research
  • Reserve
  • Resolve
  • Respond
  • Restore
  • Restructure
  • Retrieve
  • Review
  • Revise
  • Revitalize
  • Schedule
  • Screen
  • Search
  • Secure
  • Select
  • Send
  • Serve
  • Share
  • Seize
  • Showcase
  • Simplify
  • Solve
  • Sort
  • Specialize
  • Specify
  • Sponsor
  • Staff
  • Standardize
  • Start
  • Succeed
  • Suggest
  • Summarize
  • Supervise
  • Supply
  • Support
  • Surpass
  • Survey
  • Sustain
  • Target
  • Teach
  • Test
  • Track
  • Trade
  • Train
  • Transact
  • Transcribe
  • Transform
  • Translate
  • Transmit
  • Transport
  • Tutor
  • Unite
  • Update
  • Upgrade
  • Use
  • Utilize
  • Validate
  • Value
  • Verify
  • View
  • Volunteer
  • Watch
  • Weigh
  • Witness
  • Write
  • Yield

Perfecting Verbal Communication Skills

If there is something you can definitely try in your capacity as a professional in any field, it is to make sure you have communicated as desired. This follows that an improvement of verbal communication skills must be done all the way. In case a single statement happens to be true, it qualifies that another statement also must be true; something the brain has a way of alerting us to.

Giving a choice illusion is a strategy many people try. There are times when there is hardly any choice or any other way but issuing some order that will annoy a segment of workers or the people as a whole. Thus, one must provide a choice illusion, a technique that works superbly with children. For instance, a parent might ask a child whether he or she would like to go run to bed in ten or twenty minutes, something that might seemingly be offering some choice although the truth is the child has to be asleep in twenty minutes maximum. Something that is similar is the way a carrot is dangled or a positive result for that matter in the midst of folks to have them carryout something. A good example is saying that once people have listened in an attentive manner, they will definitely remember a lot. It is something that offers people a lot of incentive and reward after they have listened as compared to just commanding them to pay attention, a very subtle way of building verbal communication skills.

Some people have been able to perfect the use of metaphors and analogies. Obviously, people usually have rather short spans of attention and one can try to continue listening by giving some story and make words to live for the audience to make sure they have remained in their heads with a lot of metaphors and a lot of images that they can use to relate.

Always avoid being negative but strive to be positive. Nobody likes being told or commanded to do anything. Also, it is never an advice that is constructive to have something forbidden. It is a rather effective kind of strategy to let people realize the things that must be done and thus people must be really positive when it comes to communicating. These are the kind of guidelines able to build one’s verbal communication skills and be an effective communicator when they are expected to.

Supervisors, managers and executives understand the crucial nature of effective communication at work and should never be taken lightly. Due to poor communication, there could be negativity, conflict and mistakes done at the office and people are always apologizing for the little things they have said and but came out negative.

There are a number of barriers to communication, one of them being unaware of efficient verbal communication skills and being in a state of hurriedness all the time. Effective communication at work is very important if success is to be accomplished at the workplace and improving your skills of communication will definitely come to your aid.

Verbal Communication Skills for the Workplace

At the workplace, there are a number of things that must be tried to effectively communicate and build verbal communication skills. One of this is personal contact. You could be wondering why so many organizations and companies out there are utilizing dollars in their thousands to have sales people traversing the nation when a phone call could suffice and save on cost. The reason why this happens is that people have a way of relating to others better after they have met face to face and even read the body language of the other individual. At that time people even feel the connection created by the energy of their meeting. You are also able to shake the hand of another person and smile at the same time while greeting them, something that leaves a very powerful connection.

Development of a network is also one of the best verbal communication skills builders. Obviously, there is nobody who has been able to become successful on his or her own. In any company, success is the effort of a team and thus one must take the initiative to understand employees and managers in the various departments in the company and also meet other new folks who work in other professional organizations. Also, if you end up as an active member of the community you live, issues of verbal communication skills will not grapple your professional life one bit.

Another thing that could build your skills in verbal communication is being courteous. If you are courteous, you are letting people know how much you can be trusted and you also care. Some ‘thank you’ to an employee lets them know you appreciate, something that is quite important since appreciation is something that most employees are in search of from the management. If you say something like “would you kindly…” as compared to a blatant “Please…” lets sound a little bit dogmatic while at the same time improving the relationship one has with employees.

Another strategy in perfecting verbal communication skills is being as clear as you can. It is obvious that people always hear a number of things rather differently and thus might end up rather hesitant in asking one to explain what was said. You could enquire from them when you were able to explain clearly to confirm that your listeners did understand what you were putting across.

Compromise is also a very important strategy that works fine in making sure tension has been decreased in case of a conflict. You could enquire loudly what the best for the organization is something that will give the people a very distinct perspective on the request and they will definitely be less tensed and conflict prone on a personal level.

It is also important to look or be really interested and interesting at the same time. As much as the verbal communication skills will come to play mostly within the workplace at a business level, you will find that sharing a little about your personal life or side could help. Make it interesting as you share experiences that are interesting and connect with employees.

Verbal Communication Skills to Have

Most of us begin to talk right from the time we were very young but it is another issue altogether to have the ability to communicate as desired. This is so mostly for those individuals trying to effect communication in the office setting or those individuals you might not understand that well. To be effective, you must develop verbal communication skills so that your points can be passed across to those you intend to communicate to and also enable the same individuals to also do the same to you towards accomplishing the intended purpose.

In most cases, subtle changes in phrasing our words can amazingly improve the efficacy of verbal communication in our respective settings. There are a number of examples that make these distinct aspects of listening and speaking.

One of this is presupposition, where people often doubt the capabilities they have, something that ends up making them look reticent as well as unwilling to continue since one might fear that something is wrong. In case you are a person involved in communication in a responsibility capacity towards other staff members, your job or other people, to help them to carry out some things to make the most of their abilities, presupposition is a tool that can be harnessed in perfecting verbal communication skills.

A lot of individuals are ready to comply and it can end up very useful if one turns his or her words around and make a statement out of them as compared to just being a request. A good example is saying once there is an improvement in communication skills, confidence is the outright result. Avoid insinuating any doubt but make sure you also believe their skills could improve, a very powerful way that sends some positive messages while boosting one’s confidence.

In addition, most of us have been involved in communicating with individuals who depict a negative attitude where every positive communication made is counteracted with a negative one to equal it. It is something that leaves listeners paralyzed and sometimes do not know how they should act since there is a feeling of failure in the things they try to carry out. These beliefs must be challenged and then replaced with very positive outcomes, those that the listener might not even be thinking about.

In perfecting verbal communication skills and attaining the best in terms of passing your message and being understood as you would love, it is important to link to the yes set. This is something quite useful, a great technique in the world of passing out messages in the act of communicating with an audience that highly doubts. Essentially, something that should be done is some tagging on some suggestion on something that is overtly real and true. An example, in this case, is that a person might indicate or pass the message that after reading a specific book, one will definitely improve their verbal communication skills, meaning it is something that the individual has already tried and it is a fact.

Building Confidence and Self Esteem – How Fast Can Change Happen?

Building confidence and self esteem is a process, however it is possible for change to occur in an instant. We can in one moment decide to change a belief or change a behavior. We can in one moment decide to see things differently. We can decide right now to no longer believe the things that have always held us back. We can decide right now to believe something different, to take on board beliefs that support us and help in building confidence and self esteem. Notice what your response is to what I have just written!

However most of us are not free enough, or trusting enough to do this kind of instant change. At least not in the beginning. We need to prepare ourselves , we need to learn more how to trust. We need to understand our fears and anxieties and learn how to put these to rest quickly. We need to become aware of and understand our inner programs of beliefs. We need to become aware of and understand how to better manage our “filters” that determine the meaning we give to our experience and what we see, take notice of and expect. The more you work on developing your relationship with yourself, the stronger your self esteem and self confidence becomes, then the easier and faster it is to change anything. Profound change can happen in an instant!

Change is the natural state of things. Everything is in a constant state of change, movement, flux.

Most of us are not so comfortable with change. We actively and sometimes violently resist change. Why is this? Well, it really comes down to our basic survival programming. We need to be and feel safe and secure because this is the key strategy for survival. Most of the time this is unconscious, just running in the background and flagging us when our system detects a threat or a potential threat. When this happens, we start to feel uncomfortable.

Most of us seek and feel more comfortable with what is familiar. Why? Because we can have a sense of mastery, some measure of confidence. Some sense of security. We know what to do, what to expect. A lot of times, it is true that change is not so comfortable! However the main difference between those people who embrace change and those who resist change is how they deal with the discomfort and what they tell themselves it is all about.

This is the key to being able to embrace change. You have the power over what you tell yourself, what you believe and what you expect.

The more we are exposed to change, the easier it is to tolerate or at best embrace further change. If you have changed your hairstyle a lot, moved your job or moved house several times, a kind of familiarity builds and you can feel more comfortable with changing your hairstyle or job or house again! However if you have never had the experience of change in these areas, if you have always kept the same style, been in the same job or lived in the same spot, the prospect of moving to something new and different can be so frightening we just hold on and fight hard to keep it all the way it is. The way we are used to it being! No matter the cost. No matter how much better the new changes may be for us! Consider the makeover shows! How fantastic the guests looked after they embraced change. People love these shows so much because they excite us about what is possible.

You have the power to make the same kind of miraculous makeovers of your own life, through building your confidence and self esteem.

Improving Self Confidence and Managing Internal Conflict

Learning how to manage and respond to internal conflict is one of the great powers inherent in improving self confidence and self esteem. One thing we can be sure about is that conflict is a natural part of life, a continual ebb and flow!

Remaining in a state of internal conflict is not good for your health and well being, neither is it good for your confidence or self esteem! So learning how to resolve conflict earlier rather than allowing it to intensify and grow is one of the most helpful things you can do to improve your life, and maintain a sense of personal power which underpins self esteem and self confidence!

Internal conflict reflects some sort of dilemma you find yourself in and usually relates to one of the following areas:

Making an important decision (sometimes even just making trivial decisions!)

Competing needs

Competing fears

Guilt and what you are or are not doing and what you know you “should “ be doing or not doing ( exercise, stop smoking, spend quality time with your children, stop putting things off).

Feeling torn between what you want and what you believe you ‘have’ to do – many people feel this way about their work or relationships, unhappy but feeling locked in and powerless to change it.

Being true to yourself versus pleasing others

Conflict between needs and wants

Decision making is one of the ultimate personal power skills and in many ways is the one key process which can resolve internal conflict and dilemmas.

The critical skill within decision making is the skill of asking questions! I just love the power of questions! Sometimes just asking the right question can resolve the dilemma instantly! No matter what the conflict or decision may be, the decision tends to make itself once you have sufficient information. This means gathering sufficient information about the issue and sufficient information about yourself. Self awareness is one of the foundations of personal power, and of course self esteem and self confidence.

The first step to resolving internal conflict and dilemmas is to gather information.

Begin by clarifying all the aspects on paper. Thoroughly explore the following points.

Look at what is most important to you (your values)

Clarify exactly what you do want

Prioritize what you most want (what is most important, most valued) Clarify and be specific about all your possible choices in the situation Identify any possible regrets that may follow any choice made in the situation Identify what is stopping you or what is in the way from having what you want

Identify what is stopping you or what is in the way of making a decision.

What beliefs and assumptions are you holding about this issue?

What are your fears and concerns in the situation and what effect do these have on you?

Answering the question “what would it take?” – for example “what would it take to make this decision?” or “what would it take to resolve this dilemma?” – allows you to focus on clearing the way.
This question sets you on the path of creating the right and necessary conditions for resolving the dilemma or confidently making the decision.

Asking “what would it take” can open up territory to explore in the mind, the heart or in your environment. For instance, do you need to trust yourself to make the right decision? What might you need to believe or stop believing? What fears are having an influence? In what ways do these fears influence you? What emotional states are you seeking to experience or avoid! What information do you need, where can you get it, who can help?

If you want to learn the art of improving self confidence then learning how to lessen and resolve internal conflict is one of the best things you can do for yourself!