Behavioral Interview Questions

Hey folks! Hope all of you are doing great!

Today I am mentioning few Behavioral Interview Questions that are asked by interviewers to check the mindset , attitude and the adaptability of the candidates. These are extremely important if any candidate wants to land the dream job that he/she is looking for.

  1. Tell me about a time in the last week when you’ve been satisfied, energized, and productive at work.What were you doing?
  2. Tell me about a time when you had to juggle several projects at the same time. How did you organize your time?What was the result?
  3. Tell me about a project that you planned. How did you organize and schedule the tasks?
  4. Describe a time when you felt stressed or burdened. How did you handle it?
  5. Give an example of a time when you delegated an important task successfully.
  6. How do you determine what amount of time is reasonable for a task?
  7. Recall a time when your manager was unavailable when a problem arose. How did you handle the situation? Who did you consult with?
  8. What would motivate you to make a move from your current role?
  9. What’s the biggest career goal you’ve achieved?
  10. When was the last time you asked for direct feedback from a superior and why?
  11. Tell me about one of your favorite experiences working with a team and the contributions you made.
  12. Recall a time when you were assigned a task outside of your job description. How did you handle the situation? What was the outcome?
  13. Tell me about the biggest change you have had to deal with? How did you adapt to that change?
  14. Tell me about a time when you had to adjust to a co-worker’s working style in order to complete a project or achieve your outcomes.
  15. What are the three things that are most important to you in a job?
  16. What’s the most interesting thing about you that’s not on your resume?
  17. What would make you choose our company over others?
  18. Tell me about a time when you led by example. What did you do and how did others react?
  19. Tell me about the toughest decision you had to make in the last 1 year
  20. Describe a time when you volunteered to expand your knowledge at work

How Is Communication In Business Achieved?

Communication in Business involves communicating business information both inside and outside the organization. Internal communication in business includes the corporate vision and strategy, goals, plans, corporate culture of the organization, motivation and things that make a business organization successful in house. External communication in business involves marketing, advertising, customer relations, business negotiations and things dealing out of the business immediate environment.

There are studies done in relation to communication in business showing that nothing is better than the good old face-to-face communication between the workforce and the management. It was found out during a European study that those businesses with managers that used intranet , emails and video- conferences ended up with issues unresolved or not handled properly between the workforce and management because it was not done in person.

The use of intranet, email, faxes and voice mail is good to transport messages containing general data. Any kind of factual data that is not associated with emotions is fine to be relayed this way. But communication in business involving emotions is better done in the flesh. Things like expressing different opinions are far better done in person than with the use of electronic correspondence. Body language, vocal tone and expression cannot be accurately transferred for an important emotional transmission of information with an electronic device. The person must actually feel the emotional impact of the communication for better or worse. Electronic intermediaries cannot replace emotional communication in business. This goes for enthusiasm for goals as well as firing someone.

There have been studies done analyzing the dynamics of what makes a sales person successful in his endeavors. A good salesman is one who can talk to customers in terms they can understand. A successful communication in business should be done in terms of speaking in a language that is understandable to those you are communicating with. To make a dynamic presentation don’t tell everything you know. Talk about only what the people you are speaking to need to know about. This means do your homework also. Sort out all the data you have and only present that information which is pertinent to your business communication. This helps those you speak to take more productive action based on what you say to them. Make the information relevant to the audience. This gives them a connection to what you are talking about.

It’s also good to be able to listen as well. You need to listen to in house and out house communications in business. Make time to listen to what in house staffers have to say. This helps unify the business organization as a two way street where everyone is on the same team. The same is true for the consumers. Listen to what they have to say as well. It can help with business execution of products that the business or organization produces for consumer consumption. Poor communication in business results in misunderstanding and mistrust on both sides of the business fence. This can extend to both within and on the outside a business.

A Look At Effective Business Communication

Communication skills are very important in business. You have to be able to effectively communicate ideas to insure a successful enterprise. When one runs a business one has to interact with other people on some level, even if you are a sole proprietor without a staff. That is why effective business communication is essential.

The first thing for effective business communication whether orally or written is to consider the objectives you are trying to communicate. The objectives have to be clear in your mind so you can execute them clearly. You want the people you are communicating with to receive the objective correctly so they will be in agreement with what you are trying to accomplish. Remember for effective business communication you must have good language skills both orally and written. You must be able to articulate your points to achieve what you want.

Another good point in analyzing how effective business communication is executed is what kind of audience are you speaking to or writing for. When utilizing effective business communication skills it is very important that you have a positive attitude so you will be received positively. If one is negative and unmotivated then that is what he’s going to get back. With effective business communication what we give out is what we receive for the most part.

Another thing to consider when utilizing effective business communication is ones credibility. How believable are you and do you believe what you are saying. That makes a big difference in winning people over to your point of view. If you are honest in relaying information for both better and worse you are in a better position to have people on your side.

Try to use creative oral and written approaches. The easiest way to loose the ones you are trying to communicate with is to be boring, use jargon and be repetitious. No one not even you want to hear or read the same things over and over. You have to be innovative with your communication skills to be effective with a repetitive idea. Keep in mind boring is mind numbing not mind stimulating.

One of the best effective business communication skills to have is motivation. First you must be motivated by what you do and then you will be able to motivate others. If you have a service to offer make sure that those you are communicating to understand how much that service could benefit them as it is benefiting you. This is one of the best tools to use win over those you are communicating with.

Remember you are a human being just like the people you are communicating with. You must treat them with the same courtesy and respect that you would want to be treated with. To be effective in the business realm even as a one-person enterprise you must give to get. That is what communication is about. You are sending out information that you want others to receive to benefit both parties.

Resumes & Cover Letters for Aspiring Job Seekers

The Bottom Line

Recruiters spend as little as 30 seconds reviewing your resume for the first time
Your resume must be:
Concise
Results-oriented
Clearly presented
Marketing: content and packaging
Even with a stellar resume, you will still need to perform well on in interviews to land a job offer

Top 10 critical skills desired by employers

Critical Skill #1: Team Player

Work in teams
Academics
Extracurriculars
Employment
Willing to help others; share credit

Where you can display it
Resume

Critical Skill #2: Communication

Ability to clearly articulate complex thoughts
Writing is concise and logically organized
Activities that involve written/verbal comm.
Teaching
Journalism

Where you can display it
Cover letter and resume

Critical Skill #3: Interpersonal

Activities that involve interactions with others
Work w/ people from a range of backgrounds
Volunteer work
International experiences
Positive tone & tactful phrasing in cover letter

Where you can display it
Cover letter and resume

Critical Skill #4: Leadership

Elected leadership positions
Entrepreneurial initiative
Self-direction in ambiguous situations
Persuaded others to take action
Calculated risk-taking

Where you can display it
Resume

Critical Skill #5: Analytical

High GPA and/or rising trend in grades
Analytical coursework or summer jobs
Strong SAT or GMAT scores
Logical presentation of credentials

Where you can display it
Resume and cover letter
Academic transcript

Critical Skill #6: Quantitative

Excellent grades in quantitative subjects
Math, physics (engineering)
Accounting, finance, economics (business)
Experience involving quantitative analysis

Where you can display it
Resume
Academic Transcript

Critical Skill #7: Business Sense

Classes and extracurricular activities suggest a developing interest in business
Conveys knowledge of industry and firm
Exposure to major business and financial concepts through work experience

Where you can display it
Cover letter and resume

Critical Skill #8: Capacity for Continuous Development

Upward trend in grades in challenging classes
Humility; learning from mistakes
Intellectual curiosity
Advancement within a student organization

Where you can display it
Resume and cover letter
Academic transcript

Critical Skill #9: Motivation & Energy

Enthusiasm and bias for action
Heavy academic load
Juggled many activities on campus
Part-time job during the semester
Willing to work long hours

Where you can display it
Resume and cover letter
Academic transcript

Critical Skill #10: Integrity

Details on resume are consistent
No exaggeration of accomplishments
Following through on commitments
No unprofessional or rude statements made in cover letter

Where you can display it
Resume and cover letter

Resume Tips

  1. Use numbers where appropriate to describe your accomplishments
  2. Avoid vague qualitative terms: “large” “many”
  3. Present two or three strengths and back them up with experience & achievement
  4. Not necessary to be a jack-of-all-trades
  5. State your accomplishments objectively
  6. Avoid dramatic, self-congratulatory language

Resume Mistakes

  1. Objective statement at the top
  2. Job descriptions rather than results
  3. Weak verbs to describe accomplishments
  4. Listing experiences where you are unable to recall the details
  5. Political or religious viewpoints
  6. Any spelling or grammatical errors
  7. Consultants are notoriously detail-oriented

Cover Letters

  1. Introduce a resume
  2. Personalized explanation of interest in consulting and the particular firm
  3. More important when resume submitted directly, rather than on-campus recruiting
  4. Can the candidate write clearly & concisely?
  5. Convey professionalism & enthusiasm
  6. Address potential concerns of the recruiter

An effective consulting Cover Letter

  1. Position to which you are applying
  2. Primary reason for your interest in consulting and specific role at the firm
  3. Concise overview of 1 or 2 qualifications that make you a compelling candidate
  4. These could be accomplishments that are not explicitly included in your resume
  5. Availability (graduation date)
  6. Logical next steps
  7. Could be a brief telephone conversation

Cover Letter Mistakes

  1. Reiterating your entire resume in prose
  2. Resume and cover letter are complementary
  3. Sending an impersonal form letter
  4. Recruiter will interpret this as lack of interest
  5. Addressing your letter “Dear Sir or Madam” or “To Whom it May Concern”
  6. Find out the name of the recruiter and their title
  7. Excessive length
  8. Busy recruiter will end up skimming it

Perfecting Verbal Communication Skills

If there is something you can definitely try in your capacity as a professional in any field, it is to make sure you have communicated as desired. This follows that an improvement of verbal communication skills must be done all the way. In case a single statement happens to be true, it qualifies that another statement also must be true; something the brain has a way of alerting us to.

Giving a choice illusion is a strategy many people try. There are times when there is hardly any choice or any other way but issuing some order that will annoy a segment of workers or the people as a whole. Thus, one must provide a choice illusion, a technique that works superbly with children. For instance, a parent might ask a child whether he or she would like to go run to bed in ten or twenty minutes, something that might seemingly be offering some choice although the truth is the child has to be asleep in twenty minutes maximum. Something that is similar is the way a carrot is dangled or a positive result for that matter in the midst of folks to have them carryout something. A good example is saying that once people have listened in an attentive manner, they will definitely remember a lot. It is something that offers people a lot of incentive and reward after they have listened as compared to just commanding them to pay attention, a very subtle way of building verbal communication skills.

Some people have been able to perfect the use of metaphors and analogies. Obviously, people usually have rather short spans of attention and one can try to continue listening by giving some story and make words to live for the audience to make sure they have remained in their heads with a lot of metaphors and a lot of images that they can use to relate.

Always avoid being negative but strive to be positive. Nobody likes being told or commanded to do anything. Also, it is never an advice that is constructive to have something forbidden. It is a rather effective kind of strategy to let people realize the things that must be done and thus people must be really positive when it comes to communicating. These are the kind of guidelines able to build one’s verbal communication skills and be an effective communicator when they are expected to.

Supervisors, managers and executives understand the crucial nature of effective communication at work and should never be taken lightly. Due to poor communication, there could be negativity, conflict and mistakes done at the office and people are always apologizing for the little things they have said and but came out negative.

There are a number of barriers to communication, one of them being unaware of efficient verbal communication skills and being in a state of hurriedness all the time. Effective communication at work is very important if success is to be accomplished at the workplace and improving your skills of communication will definitely come to your aid.

Verbal Communication Skills for the Workplace

At the workplace, there are a number of things that must be tried to effectively communicate and build verbal communication skills. One of this is personal contact. You could be wondering why so many organizations and companies out there are utilizing dollars in their thousands to have sales people traversing the nation when a phone call could suffice and save on cost. The reason why this happens is that people have a way of relating to others better after they have met face to face and even read the body language of the other individual. At that time people even feel the connection created by the energy of their meeting. You are also able to shake the hand of another person and smile at the same time while greeting them, something that leaves a very powerful connection.

Development of a network is also one of the best verbal communication skills builders. Obviously, there is nobody who has been able to become successful on his or her own. In any company, success is the effort of a team and thus one must take the initiative to understand employees and managers in the various departments in the company and also meet other new folks who work in other professional organizations. Also, if you end up as an active member of the community you live, issues of verbal communication skills will not grapple your professional life one bit.

Another thing that could build your skills in verbal communication is being courteous. If you are courteous, you are letting people know how much you can be trusted and you also care. Some ‘thank you’ to an employee lets them know you appreciate, something that is quite important since appreciation is something that most employees are in search of from the management. If you say something like “would you kindly…” as compared to a blatant “Please…” lets sound a little bit dogmatic while at the same time improving the relationship one has with employees.

Another strategy in perfecting verbal communication skills is being as clear as you can. It is obvious that people always hear a number of things rather differently and thus might end up rather hesitant in asking one to explain what was said. You could enquire from them when you were able to explain clearly to confirm that your listeners did understand what you were putting across.

Compromise is also a very important strategy that works fine in making sure tension has been decreased in case of a conflict. You could enquire loudly what the best for the organization is something that will give the people a very distinct perspective on the request and they will definitely be less tensed and conflict prone on a personal level.

It is also important to look or be really interested and interesting at the same time. As much as the verbal communication skills will come to play mostly within the workplace at a business level, you will find that sharing a little about your personal life or side could help. Make it interesting as you share experiences that are interesting and connect with employees.

Verbal Communication Skills to Have

Most of us begin to talk right from the time we were very young but it is another issue altogether to have the ability to communicate as desired. This is so mostly for those individuals trying to effect communication in the office setting or those individuals you might not understand that well. To be effective, you must develop verbal communication skills so that your points can be passed across to those you intend to communicate to and also enable the same individuals to also do the same to you towards accomplishing the intended purpose.

In most cases, subtle changes in phrasing our words can amazingly improve the efficacy of verbal communication in our respective settings. There are a number of examples that make these distinct aspects of listening and speaking.

One of this is presupposition, where people often doubt the capabilities they have, something that ends up making them look reticent as well as unwilling to continue since one might fear that something is wrong. In case you are a person involved in communication in a responsibility capacity towards other staff members, your job or other people, to help them to carry out some things to make the most of their abilities, presupposition is a tool that can be harnessed in perfecting verbal communication skills.

A lot of individuals are ready to comply and it can end up very useful if one turns his or her words around and make a statement out of them as compared to just being a request. A good example is saying once there is an improvement in communication skills, confidence is the outright result. Avoid insinuating any doubt but make sure you also believe their skills could improve, a very powerful way that sends some positive messages while boosting one’s confidence.

In addition, most of us have been involved in communicating with individuals who depict a negative attitude where every positive communication made is counteracted with a negative one to equal it. It is something that leaves listeners paralyzed and sometimes do not know how they should act since there is a feeling of failure in the things they try to carry out. These beliefs must be challenged and then replaced with very positive outcomes, those that the listener might not even be thinking about.

In perfecting verbal communication skills and attaining the best in terms of passing your message and being understood as you would love, it is important to link to the yes set. This is something quite useful, a great technique in the world of passing out messages in the act of communicating with an audience that highly doubts. Essentially, something that should be done is some tagging on some suggestion on something that is overtly real and true. An example, in this case, is that a person might indicate or pass the message that after reading a specific book, one will definitely improve their verbal communication skills, meaning it is something that the individual has already tried and it is a fact.

Building Confidence and Self Esteem – How Fast Can Change Happen?

Building confidence and self esteem is a process, however it is possible for change to occur in an instant. We can in one moment decide to change a belief or change a behavior. We can in one moment decide to see things differently. We can decide right now to no longer believe the things that have always held us back. We can decide right now to believe something different, to take on board beliefs that support us and help in building confidence and self esteem. Notice what your response is to what I have just written!

However most of us are not free enough, or trusting enough to do this kind of instant change. At least not in the beginning. We need to prepare ourselves , we need to learn more how to trust. We need to understand our fears and anxieties and learn how to put these to rest quickly. We need to become aware of and understand our inner programs of beliefs. We need to become aware of and understand how to better manage our “filters” that determine the meaning we give to our experience and what we see, take notice of and expect. The more you work on developing your relationship with yourself, the stronger your self esteem and self confidence becomes, then the easier and faster it is to change anything. Profound change can happen in an instant!

Change is the natural state of things. Everything is in a constant state of change, movement, flux.

Most of us are not so comfortable with change. We actively and sometimes violently resist change. Why is this? Well, it really comes down to our basic survival programming. We need to be and feel safe and secure because this is the key strategy for survival. Most of the time this is unconscious, just running in the background and flagging us when our system detects a threat or a potential threat. When this happens, we start to feel uncomfortable.

Most of us seek and feel more comfortable with what is familiar. Why? Because we can have a sense of mastery, some measure of confidence. Some sense of security. We know what to do, what to expect. A lot of times, it is true that change is not so comfortable! However the main difference between those people who embrace change and those who resist change is how they deal with the discomfort and what they tell themselves it is all about.

This is the key to being able to embrace change. You have the power over what you tell yourself, what you believe and what you expect.

The more we are exposed to change, the easier it is to tolerate or at best embrace further change. If you have changed your hairstyle a lot, moved your job or moved house several times, a kind of familiarity builds and you can feel more comfortable with changing your hairstyle or job or house again! However if you have never had the experience of change in these areas, if you have always kept the same style, been in the same job or lived in the same spot, the prospect of moving to something new and different can be so frightening we just hold on and fight hard to keep it all the way it is. The way we are used to it being! No matter the cost. No matter how much better the new changes may be for us! Consider the makeover shows! How fantastic the guests looked after they embraced change. People love these shows so much because they excite us about what is possible.

You have the power to make the same kind of miraculous makeovers of your own life, through building your confidence and self esteem.

Improving Self Confidence and Managing Internal Conflict

Learning how to manage and respond to internal conflict is one of the great powers inherent in improving self confidence and self esteem. One thing we can be sure about is that conflict is a natural part of life, a continual ebb and flow!

Remaining in a state of internal conflict is not good for your health and well being, neither is it good for your confidence or self esteem! So learning how to resolve conflict earlier rather than allowing it to intensify and grow is one of the most helpful things you can do to improve your life, and maintain a sense of personal power which underpins self esteem and self confidence!

Internal conflict reflects some sort of dilemma you find yourself in and usually relates to one of the following areas:

Making an important decision (sometimes even just making trivial decisions!)

Competing needs

Competing fears

Guilt and what you are or are not doing and what you know you “should “ be doing or not doing ( exercise, stop smoking, spend quality time with your children, stop putting things off).

Feeling torn between what you want and what you believe you ‘have’ to do – many people feel this way about their work or relationships, unhappy but feeling locked in and powerless to change it.

Being true to yourself versus pleasing others

Conflict between needs and wants

Decision making is one of the ultimate personal power skills and in many ways is the one key process which can resolve internal conflict and dilemmas.

The critical skill within decision making is the skill of asking questions! I just love the power of questions! Sometimes just asking the right question can resolve the dilemma instantly! No matter what the conflict or decision may be, the decision tends to make itself once you have sufficient information. This means gathering sufficient information about the issue and sufficient information about yourself. Self awareness is one of the foundations of personal power, and of course self esteem and self confidence.

The first step to resolving internal conflict and dilemmas is to gather information.

Begin by clarifying all the aspects on paper. Thoroughly explore the following points.

Look at what is most important to you (your values)

Clarify exactly what you do want

Prioritize what you most want (what is most important, most valued) Clarify and be specific about all your possible choices in the situation Identify any possible regrets that may follow any choice made in the situation Identify what is stopping you or what is in the way from having what you want

Identify what is stopping you or what is in the way of making a decision.

What beliefs and assumptions are you holding about this issue?

What are your fears and concerns in the situation and what effect do these have on you?

Answering the question “what would it take?” – for example “what would it take to make this decision?” or “what would it take to resolve this dilemma?” – allows you to focus on clearing the way.
This question sets you on the path of creating the right and necessary conditions for resolving the dilemma or confidently making the decision.

Asking “what would it take” can open up territory to explore in the mind, the heart or in your environment. For instance, do you need to trust yourself to make the right decision? What might you need to believe or stop believing? What fears are having an influence? In what ways do these fears influence you? What emotional states are you seeking to experience or avoid! What information do you need, where can you get it, who can help?

If you want to learn the art of improving self confidence then learning how to lessen and resolve internal conflict is one of the best things you can do for yourself!

Improving Self Confidence and Communication Skills

Improving self confidence is a work in progress. It’s not a task you “do” so much as developing an optimum relationship with yourself as a constant background. Overlaid on this background are the learning and honing of skills and various competencies. Feeling and being skilfully resourced supports improving self confidence through regular positive reinforcement. The better your experience is, the more confident you feel the next time. It drops you into the positive expanding spiral. The more confident you feel in yourself and your skills and abilities, the better are your experience and results and you come to live in this expanding cycle of improving self confidence naturally.

It can go the other way of course! The more uncomfortable or inadequate you feel about your interactions, the less confident you are likely to feel next time. The less confident you are, the less likely you are to perform or interact in optimum ways and that downward contracting cycle can entrap us. As our confidence erodes, anxiety can set in which further compromises optimum interaction and management.

We need positive experiences and a sense of self efficacy in order to build and reinforce self confidence.

Becoming knowledgeable and proficient in the core communication skills is a direct ticket to riding the positive expanding spiral and one of the most powerful ways of improving self confidence immediately.

The process for improving communication skills includes:

  • Taking inventory of your current skills and targeting areas for improvement
  • Getting a clear idea of what makes someone a great communicator so you know exactly what you are aiming for and have a concrete and specific set of targets
  • Learning the skill
  • Practicing the skill
  • Learning the techniques and understanding the underlying information about the dynamics of communication excellence
  • Identifying and resolving your own blocks and barriers to skillful, effective, and confident communication – in all situations!
  • Improving self-confidence is as close as making the commitment to doing what it takes!

Improving Self Confidence and the Role of Self Esteem

Improving self confidence and improving self esteem is a package deal. Improving self confidence is a lot like baking a cake! Although there is much tasty variety in the flavours and texture of cakes, there are certain essential ingredients and a certain method to follow in the way you treat and blend the ingredients if you want to get the best results. If you are using eggs, leaving the shells on is not an option if you want the best results! It is necessary to do certain things when you are improving self confidence if you want the best results.

Self esteem is like the oven! The essential piece of equipment that allows your confidence to be formed – to alchemise confidence from raw ingredients to fully formed and stable results. Without the oven, the ingredients are just a mash of ingredients. All that raw potential just waiting for you!

Low self esteem is like rejecting yourself. This is not a viable position for improving self confidence! How can you feel confident or be improving self confidence if you don’t like, accept or value yourself! How can you feel confident if you do not trust yourself, your decisions, your opinions, your path.

Low self esteem is putting a low value on yourself, having a low regard for yourself, holding yourself in low “esteem” – commonly experienced as feeling worthless or inadequate. Feeling “not good enough”. The question to ask yourself is , not good enough for what? Or should that be not good enough for whom?

Low self esteem is characterised by continually judging ourselves negatively. The process of improving confidence requires us stop doing this! Immediately!

Think of all the ways you judge yourself as being right or wrong, good or bad. You may be surprised by just how often you do this during the day with what you do, what you don’t do, what you think, what you say to yourself and what you say to other people. Improving confidence and self esteem begins with a focus on becoming more aware of your self and your relationship with yourself.

Recognise that no matter what has happened in the past, you have a choice right now to change your relationship with yourself. To stop negatively judging and rejecting yourself and instead, decide to start accepting yourself .

Improving self-confidence begins with working on self-esteem and you can start immediately by increasing self-awareness and learning to accept yourself.

How To Build Self Confidence – Role Of Judgement

How to build self-confidence is a simple process and quite easy once you understand the process and dynamics.

Why is it that a particularly bad hair day, or carrying a few extra pounds, or turning up to a social event in “the wrong outfit”( like being the only person erroneously wearing a wild fancy dress outfit!) can wilt self confidence and have us seeking out the nearest hiding place?


How come one comment from decades ago can still cause us to doubt ourselves, to feel we are stupid, selfish, or unworthy of good things.

What is going on when we have a panic attack about standing in front of a group to speak or are terrified to attend a social event alone .

In one word it is all about judgement.

If you want to learn how to build self confidence one critical area to address is how to become immune to judgement from others and how to stop judging ourselves.

There are two key areas that erode or prevent self confidence:

  • Judging yourself
  • Fear of others judging you.

Non-judgment is the opposite of judgment. We need to learn to stop judging ourselves, stop judging others, and take back the power we give to others to judge us and have it affect us.

Perhaps our greatest and deepest need is to feel loved. In close companionship with love, is acceptance. This is one of our greatest needs. We tend to make acceptance a pre-requisite for love. If we judge ourselves to be unacceptable, we also tend to judge ourselves to be unlovable or unworthy of love. Most of us find it difficult to love someone we do not accept.

In addition to not judging ourselves, we also must accept ourselves. Who we are, as we are. The most powerful pathway to becoming immune to the negative judgments of other people and a critical component in any program focused on how to build self-confidence is to fully and unconditionally accept ourselves.

Building confidence and self-esteem: having a “right relationship” with yourself

Building self confidence and self esteem are key foundations for personal power. Improving self confidence and self esteem comes from working constantly on establishing and then maintaining a “right relationship” with yourself. Every choice and decision we make, every word we speak, the thoughts we think, the actions we take all reflect the state of our relationship with ourselves. They reflect whether or not our self esteem and confidence is strong or weak. Whether or not we are living from a place of personal power or disempowerment.

What state is your relationship with yourself in? Could it do with some tweaking or maybe a major overhaul?

How to build self confidence and self esteem?

Building confidence and self esteem is a process.

This process for building self-confidence and self-esteem has four essential ingredients:

  • building awareness
  • increasing understanding
  • a willingness to make the necessary changes and
  • actively creating the best and necessary conditions for the changes you desire.


The first step is to examine and assess your relationship with yourself. There are three key areas. Take the time to reflect and write in a journal about each of these areas as they may apply to you.

How you relate to yourself . This includes your self concept, self esteem and how you think about yourself. How strong or weak is your self confidence in who you are and how you manage all the areas of your life? What are you here for – your role, purpose and identity? Are you here to keep everyone else happy or to live your own life and seek happiness and fulfilment for yourself? Are you your own best friend, supporter and encourager or are you your own worst enemy? Do you trust yourself? Love yourself? Accept yourself?


How you treat yourself . Do you treat yourself with understanding, compassion and kindness or harsh criticism, judgement and rejection? How well do you take care of your physical health and well being? How well do you take care of your needs, desires, opportunities, emotional life and mental life? Do you go for your dreams or hold back?


How well you know and understand yourself. The most critical and essential area to understand is your belief systems because as you have no doubt heard already, beliefs are the computer programs that run the whole show. What are all the beliefs you carry around? Many of our beliefs have become unconscious, running on automatic. You also need to become aware of and understand what is important to you (your values), what you need, and what fears have power over you. It’s about understanding what makes you tick, what pushes your buttons, and why.

Improving self-confidence and strengthening self-esteem is a natural consequence of gradually working on making your relationship “right” with yourself. Step up and take charge of your “programming”! You are the programmer! No matter what has happened in the past, you have total control over the kind of relationship you have with yourself now. And yes, you can have total control over building confidence and self-esteem to where you would love it to be!

Importance of Interpersonal Skills

For many, the word “communication” is the act of relaying a message to others. However, if those words remain unheard or cannot be understood by the listener the speaker has simply been talking. That there are so many self-help sources offering suggestions on how to develop communication skills is evidence the art remains mysterious.

Communication is, to all intents and purposes the exchange of information between people. According to Paul Meyer, “Communication – the human connection – is the key to personal and career success.” Therefore, learning how to develop communication skills determines success in all endeavors. Outlined in this article are the most important factors to consider when looking to develop your communication skills.

Voltaire once said, “If you wish to converse with me, define your terms.” When communicating with someone else it is vital, first and foremost to understand what it is that you are trying to say. Stick to the point you are trying to make and don’t confuse the listener with unnecessary information.

When communication involves conflict, where passion may be persuasive, unchecked emotions can be perceived as offensive. Effective Communication requires you to be able to put aside your emotions and stick to the facts. Asking specific questions will demonstrate sincere interest in hearing their perspective and make them more open to hearing yours.

A great way to improve your ability to communicate is to develop your listening skills. Winston Churchill once said, “Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen”. In other words, during the course of communicating your thoughts to someone else remember to stop and listen with equal enthusiasm when they speak.

It is important to be articulate in your communication and to respect the person with whom you are speaking.

Never lie, even when it suits you to do so. The most valuable thing a person can have is their reputation and, once damaged, can often never be repaired. If in the course of discussion you are asked a question to which you do not know the answer see this as an obstacle but an opportunity to learn how to develop your communication skills further. Make sure you do promise to go away and find the answer though and be absolutely sure that you follow up on that promise. Not only will you gain the person’s respect by your willingness to learn on their behalf but will inspire trust in what you say afterward.

President Kennedy said, “If we are strong, our strength will speak for itself. If we are weak, words will be of no help.” Therefore, the biggest secret in how to develop communication skills starts with understanding that when a tree falls and no one hears it the sound it makes is meaningless.

Advantages of emotional intelligence

If you make a quick search on emotional intelligence articles, you will find a lot of information, however the most important thing that you have to understand is that emotional intelligence is the vital ability that you have to develop if you want to solve personal, business and social issues in a more effective way.

Its very simple, if you are self aware of your thoughts and actions you will be able to control and direct your action in the more quick and effective way to resolve any issue. But most people don’t have idea of they character flaws, they think that they are the way they are and there is no way to change.

If you want to improve your self or if you want to teach someone self improvement the best way to begin with is to know how emotional intelligence works and how to your develop it. Its common knowledge that people are born with talents and thus they become successful. But that is wrong, most people that are successful are not geniuses, don’t have special talents and don’t even have high intelligence.

What successful people have and I mean successful in most areas of their life, is the ability to understand their own emotions and influenced, inspire and understand the emotions of others.

Think about it, why does a leader is followed by the masses, there could be many external reasons but the main ability in a very successful leader is to recognize his followers emotions, problems and how they react to them.

The best part is that although we are born with certain emotional intelligence, this is a skill developed and its not a talent of some. How different would partners conflicts be if they could understand each others emotions?

In this emotional intelligence article i have told you some of the benefits of it. As you become more self aware you become more conscious of your actions and in control of them. For example think the last time you had a relationship conflict and how you reacted, what were your feelings and emotions? what did you say that caused your partner to react in defense? did you hurt his proud in any way?

There is a very common problem in conflicts, sometimes what causes a conflict is not what is said, but how you said it. That means that maybe you had the reason but the way you say it, caused a negative reaction.

Quick Tip #1

We can improve our Emotional Intelligence EQ by doing some daily exercises

Quick Tip #2

Emotional Intelligence is vital for the entrepreneur that wants to be successful and needs to deal with a lot of people

Quick Tip #3

Its not enough to have a high IQ now more than ever we need to develop our Emotional Intelligence to make better business decision and have more happier personal relationships

Advantages of emotional intelligence

There has been a lot of talk recently of emotional intelligence and how it can do great things for people and relationships, but still there is a lot of people that don’t understand the real advantages of emotional intelligence and how it can positively affect their life.

What we need first to understand is that emotional intelligence has been used for hundreds or even thousands of years but we were not aware of it or it wasn’t defined, few people recognized its real importance. Since child we were told that successful people had special talents and skills and that they worked really hard to achieve their goals.

And even recently on of the most talk about topics of self improvement is positive thinking and visualization. Although those concepts are good and can help, emotional intelligence has a more practical and really profound impact in a person that learns it and practices.

Emotional intelligence makes you understand and perceive your own emotions, control them and use them in the more beneficial way for you. Also Emotional Intelligence make you influence, inspire and feel other peoples emotions, thus making it easy for you to deal with a situation and put your self in the shoes of the other person.

All this might sound a little weird, however its completely practical, people who cant control their emotions, say and do in-congruent and damaging things and can hurt relationships and partners for years to come. We all have some things in common and some differences.

One of the advantages of emotional intelligence is that you will learn how to deal in difficult situations then taking the decision that will benefit both parts. This make sound like common business negotiation, however using your emotional intelligence you will understand the other person emotions and put your self in his shoes so you can persuade and tell him your view point in a way that he gets it and accepts it.

Lets see a common example, some people express themselves in certain ways where they are in pressing situations, in those moments you say what you think and the other one too, he might not disagree with you in the main point, but they way you are imposing or saying it, is causing him to disagree with you. That means that not your words but your actions or way of saying it, is what is causing him to stay of defense.

If you can learn to perceive other peoples emotions and control yours, you are in advantage, thus making easy to resolve a conflict and not expand on it. Conflicts like the example above are very common in personal relationships, people don’t understand why the counterpart cant get his point.